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Life as of late

My summer consisted of no life; work and Elliott only. It's crazy how fast they grow. I know that's so cliche, but it's so right. He's so big and independent! It's nuts! It also gives me baby fever again which is scary. We ended up finding a new sitter over the summer and BOOM! summer is over.

So the school year is here. It's stressful and crazy and I can't seem to get ahead in anything I do. I am rebuilding a curriculum for an Instructional Physical Science class and creating a curriculum for ABLE Science. I do have old Forum, however I am teaching it with two teachers who haven't taught it before. One is retiring in 2 years, and I swear making me miserable because she's mad she was taken from her social studies classes. With all this craziness going on, I am still able to be elated at work. I know I've said it a million times, but let me say it again; I love my job! (I realized the other days it has been 6 years already!)

I think what I attribute to the great attitude lately is essential oils. In May I began taking a vinyasa yoga class and the teacher, who I also work with sells the oils. After becoming hooked on the vinyasa I am also hooked on the oils. I've never been someone who was hooked on homeopathic things, but I seriously think there is something to this stuff. At first I bought a couple cheap ones in the organic-hippie section of the grocery store; peppermint, lavender, and eucalyptus. Later I bought tea tree oil, which is supposed to be cleansing, but found it was overly strong. Once I started figuring out combinations and uses, I was awed.
1) My house smells awesome.
2) Unlike candles, I ca use them and my parents, who are wildly allergic to smells can be around them, as long as they aren't be diffused in close proximity).
3) They seem to legitimately work.

Right before getting back to work I came down with a cold and a clear cut sinus infection. I was told to buy lemon oil, mix with peppermint and eucalyptus and put around my achy face areas. Mucinex wouldn't drain me and my teeth were hurting because the pressure. After one day the pressure was alleviated and within 2 days I was back to feeling great!

So now being semi-convinced I took to the wallet and bought grapefruit oil and Elevation, (doTerra), which is supposed to be uplifting. With the Elevation came a rollerball, which I keep on my desk. I think it's what keeps me so elevated, (teehee), at work. Even when I'm stressed I feel like I am okay and I think it's that!

I've tried the headache secret twice on two different people and it seemed to work on both when they didn't take any meds. My husband was one. He made fun of me saying it's a silly thing to get into, but immediately asked me to do my "magic lotion thing". I did this on someone at work too. At first she didn't super care for the peppermint tingle, but did say her headache cleared up.

I recently bought vetiver oil as a tester in lieu of sleep aide. I felt like I'd been depending too much on ZzzQuil, I thought I'd give it a try despite not liking the earthy/syrupy smell. I haven't used any sleep aide in over 2 weeks, which I cannot remember how long it's been since I could do that!

I'm still debating how much is in the head, but I'm liking it. It must be that Elevation 😉

Happy Days & Pretty Toes

Some days are just good. This morning we took a glorious walk, played in the park, and just laughed. I love this kind of day. 💕 E is growing up so fast, it's crazy...



He swang like a big-kid, until he fell because he tried clapping, haha. But he got right back up and hopped back on! ... But then fell off again clapping.
Also on a side note of awesome, I did my toes today. Check out this amazing pedicure:



BoOm! gorgeous.

Life is what you make it.

That is all.

I'm poor. I have a wonderful son. I have a loving husband. I love my job. It could all be so much worse. ❤️

Karma?

I go from happy to not in a heart-beat, but I don't know if I really feel love. In looking at dream I had last night, I wonder if it would be his no matter what or if this is because f the life choices I made. In short, is this karma? I always ask out loud what it was I did to get me into a shit-storm I am in, and then ask what I did to deserve this karma. After the dream I had to step back and ask myself if it was the way I acted in high school... I wasn't a horribly mean person, I got along with almos everyone but I certainly didn't fit in any one area. In looking back, I have to ask myself if I isolated myself because I presented myself in a way that wasn't truthful. I would imply that I "partied" and was promiscuis; I did neither. I drank the summer between my Junior and Senior year and aside from one other night in mind, I was a good kid. I was not any of the things I presented myself as and now I wonder if that pushed people away and they assume I was a whore-ish person. I kind of want to just yell to world I acted only how I thought I should be acting. Dumb? Yes. What can I do? I still was nice and I still earned decent grades... I don't know though. I could even tell you why I acted that way. I won't say why here, but there's reasoning. I didn't know that then, but I understand why now. What if that's the reason my life is exactly as it is now? What if that's the reason I am becoming an axiety-ridden mess by each growing day and that why a strom cloud follows?

Would I go back, I don't know. I have a pretty good family now but... I still feel like I am missing something.

Ghostly

So yesterday I was really missing my grandparents. My Aunt, who I'm pretty sure is legit crazy, and I got into because I'm stupid and continue to engage in crazy. Seriously, I keep trying to fix crazy and I need to stop. It's stupid. There's a sign up in my office at school that says you can't fix crazy. Tis true and I don't know why I do. My husband says it's because family is important to me and it's what my grandparents would want... He could be right. Or, I might just be a glutton for punishment.

Anyway, last night I had the most crazy, vivid dream! As soon as I fell asleep, my phone was ringing. When I looked at who it was, it said "Nana/Papa". I said out loud that my phone is crap and broken. I answered it and a Face-time like video and my Papa's voice answered. I was so freaked out I dropped the phone and yelled, "What the Fuck!?". My mother-in-law was standing next to me and she picked up my little purple phone and answered it and then leaned over and says, "Umm, your grandfather wants to talk to you." I could feel my heart racing! It was crazy. His voice was a little more guttural, maybe gravel-y is a better term but was him. I started talking to him but his words kept cutting out and when I asked him if the connection was bad he grumbled yes. I could hear him best with yes or no's, that was how we chatted for the past couple years anyway, so I just talked with him. It was not long and don't remember all the questions/conversation.

I had no idea it was a dream until I asked him if he had seen E's haircut, (we gave him a baby Mohawk yesterday), he said yes. So I asked him if he liked it. Then my husband was coming to bed and as soon as I realized I was dreaming, he was gone and very shortly after that I woke up.

Later on I was dreaming fireworks were going off and my husband said that was real... I'm one of those people who doesn't believe in ghosts, but I want to. In short, I can't help but wonder if it was him. (I know it was not, ps).

Don't grow up! It's a trap!

As a child, I looked forward to nothing than to being a grown-up, having my own house, decorating... ahhh. The life. If only I would have known then,growing up is only a trap!Collapse )